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20060330 : 8:37 PM

1.i think i've gone and made Char angry again.

why again?
well i can remember extremely reluctantly the time in chiangmai. there were happy crappy times, and there were horrid depressing times. there was one time Char felt sick, but insensitive me went and dumped rice on her plate with a cheerful 'you need to eat more!'
she dumped it all right back with a shout.
this time, i was once again thickheaded and dint process my words carefully before i regurgitated them. i think it was something to do with bread. you know how char's a breadbrain, hooked on bread and all. it was the morning of gb enrolment service, one of those pointless events where you stand around in a too-tight uniform and pinching boots. me and carina were joking about her bread and i'm not exactly sure what i said, maybe about the bread or the fact that she's rich enough to afford crystal jade bread or whatever but she got really pissed and ignored me the whole entire day.
it was awful.
luckily she managed to forgive my bluntness and we're currently on cordial speaking terms, but i can feel this undercurrent of fragility beneath it all.

2.we got our report books back.
i scored l1r5 of 15, which wasn't too bad i guess, compared to most other people. poor Chrissy and Graceygummy got elected into the s2e programme, a damn waste of time if you ask me.

3. i get the feeling that Finchan's been off lately. she's been out of it, like lapsing into silence, and doing one of her silly "i'm fine" grins which clearly has "i'm not ok" written all over.i don't know what to say, what to do to comfort her. i don't know if it's just me being oversensitive again. i don't know if i've done something to offend her. i don't know.. whether i'll be able to find out.
i hope we'll still be able to remain good, if not best, friends for the rest of the year at least, because i don't want any more bad things to tear us all apart anymore.
maybe i am just being paranoid. [Asoka, wth is wrong??]

4. i had to go see the jjuniors today. for some reason, Pitty had his kiampah attitude that made me feel like marching right over and throttling him. i didn't say a single word to Pruney *snorts* and i don't care if she noticed. Nic was totally acting the leader today. for some reason i felt uneasy when he did. i should have been feeling relieved that he was taking charge, but somehow, no vibe there.
Xwan and Finchan were plastered together the whole time, leaving me with the whole pack of 'em. not that they abandoned me, just that they had other duties. sometimes i watch them and i get kinda envious from the way they explicitly trust each other and confide in each other so often.
and i get depressed knowing that no one will ever completely trust me, and neither will i ever completely trust anybody.


the round one.

Just your average human specimen wanting to be something more. Also has an absurd fondness for potatoes and shoes, among other things.


what i want.
(these are clickable nudge nudge)

bicycle!!!1!
PLAYSTATION3
tv/HD screen for PS3
POP OP figures
sutadora figure
ps1 (not the console)
幸せ / きらめき / 自由
AMAZON WISHLIST



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