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20060411 : 5:49 PM
next time i ever open my mouth in concern, please slap me silly. at least 3 incidents have happened, in all of which good friends were angry, trust was breached, and it was because of my mouth. why can't i ever scan the things i say? Xwan told me that Finny was going through some tough times because she was depressed over the recent.. deaths that had happened. she said that Finny had this belief that they were caused by her third eyelid, which appeared everytime someone.. moved on. and she had been thinking suicidal thoughts and blaming herself. WHAT THE HELL. as a christian she's not even supposed to think these sort of stuff, and it's absolutely ludicrous. of course, Finny wasn't supposed to know that Xwan told us [hatters], but i seemd to have skipped that whole part and asked her upfront during Lit. of course, she clammed up and said she was ok. whenever she says that, she's definitely not ok. [in my experience] so i just had to go into stupid-dumb-clueless-mode and pester her. finally i got fed up. i mean, what the hell are friends for? if you keep this sort of stuff inside it's not gonna do you any good is it. even if she didn't want us to worry, keeping mum just makes us worry more. anyway, we currently aren't on speaking terms. i'm angry because she didn't tell us any of this and which i feel wouldn't have done her any good, and she's mad because i pestered her and Xwan told us. oh and guess what? Xwan's also pissed because i asked Finny about this, and Finny was not supposed to know that we knew. golly gee. this totally brings me back to the times when i told Au something and she told Nat and it spread and the whole bunch got pissed because it was a clique thing. and i got reminded of the time when i went overboard and Char got angry too. i am such a failure as a friend, and as a homo sapiens. i can't even control my mouth, and everything stupid always comes out and i'm the one who always screw the relationship up. always. maybe i'd be better off alone. that way, i won't offend anyone and everyone can live in their nice worlds happily ever after, without the everhorrid and disastrous Kookie Monster. |
the round one.
Just your average human specimen wanting to be something more. Also has an absurd fondness for potatoes and shoes, among other things.
what i want.
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