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20060907 : 9:26 PM

i'm getting really worried.

not about the dangerously approaching prelims, but about Da's temper.

there was a huge row between him and BakaBee approx. 24 hours ago, regarding the house furnishings. i personally don't have anything against the interior, it IS home to me. but apparently BakaBee had to go bringing up the issue after spending what must have been a wondrous day at her friend's undoubtedly splendidly interior-designed home.
big mistake, because once she started comparing theirs to ours, Da reached his boiling point and they began screaming at each other. well actually once he starts no one can actually defend themselves because he would be bellowing at the top of his voice and he really sounds menacing.
well, but he has this nasty habit which i absolutely hate, which is that he tends to blow things out of proportion and insist that he's right.
i mean, everyone's entitled to their own opinion right? even if you feel they're wrong, there really isn't any need to go yelling at people trying to get them to admit their errors, when they don't feel that there is anything wrong. and when BakaBee and her impulsive mouth tried to defend herself and correct him, he always goes AND NOW YOU TRY TO DEFEND BACK?
uh, like people are supposed to stand there quietly and receive your unreasonable shouting without defending themselves? DUH NO.
he was just conversing with Gran over the phone, and it seems like converse is the wrong word here. it's a one-way street, with Da sirens blaring.
it's the financial issue again, seems like Gran wants to take out the moolah from the bank for whatever reason and Da is against it and he's dead set that it's Aunt Judy behind it. so everytime Da and Gran meet, they're either spitting fire at each other or throwing ice. one time, Gran got so upset she couldn't eat and felt nauseous.

to Da: i mean, respect is one thing, but reason is another. it's not like BakaBee doesn't respect you, she's just voicing her opinions. what's wrong with that? it's not like yelling at the top of your voice will get people to see your point of view. if she thinks the house is not as good as her friend's, then try to see why she thinks that way and explain why she can't expect the house to be as nicely furnished as others. if you shout like that, others will get pissed off as well and neither party can back off.
if the tuition teacher comments on the house, who gives a damn? her job isn't to criticize the house, but to give tuition. why the hell should you care about her view? the only thing that matters is whether she can provide good education. and besides, she certainly dint say anything about the house to me. why the heck didja have to drag me in for? it's not like we sit there for an hours discussing the finer points of the house.
i DO know and understand how hard you and ObaMa works, how much effort you put in. i'm no blind, deaf and dumb you know. i can hear you yelling over the phone to those furniture manufacturers and whonot, and i know how much stress you face sometimes at work when things don't go as planned.
but it doesn't give you any right to take out your stress and anger on us. you may protest and say you're not, but thing is, you give us that vibe when you start lecturing. what's the deal on that? it's not like we don't know what we're doing -ok, from my observations maybe Bakabee doesn't- but at least, i do. do you know what i wanna do in the future? do you know what's my ambition?

you never asked.

and you come barging in and expect us to take your barrage of unreasonable accusations nicely?
i don't understand how come ObaMa can just soothe my feelings and motivate me to strive because of one gentle kiss/hug/smile/sentence, and your angry words just make me wanna throw something.
it's probably unfair of me to compare you and ObaMa, but with you, the atmosphere is just uncomfortable and alienating. i never know when you're going to start lecturing -especially in the car, which is why i hate accepting lifts from you.
this is my honest opinion here.
even though i've never met Grandad, from what i've heard, you're turning out just like him.
shouting at anyone doesn't exactly make you a very likeable person you know. even though you may apologize for raising your voice later and hugging and stuff, it doesn't change the fact that you hurt people with your words.
and your words, regardless of whether you mean them or not, are extremely cruel and painful.
"IF YOU DON'T LIKE THIS HOUSE, YOU CAN BOTH GET OUT THE DOOR IS OPEN ANYTIME!"
whassup with that? i never said anything about the house. sure, i envy the beautiful interior designs that others sometimes have, but that doesn't mean i don't appreciate my home.
don't you know that your words stab my heart and leave unseen scars?
they say that children who are brought up in a certain way will bring up their future children in the same way.
if i ever have my children, i hope never to lecture them and use harsh words on them.

to BakaBee:
please, stop shooting your mouth off so rashly! since you know what Da's temperament is like, stop doing such foolish things and tolerate with it for now. right now, you're in a position where you cannot reason with him maturely yet, and you cannot see with an adult's perspective as yet. please, use your brain matter and wait until you grow up a little bit more before actually coming up with these sort of harebrained suggestions.

i have so had enough of ranting behind both your backs. *big sigh* i feel really burdened and saddened by all these.. even though i pretend that it is none of my business, i can't help but worry in the shadows.
i think i'm going to throw myself into the studies and anticipate the day when i can burn all my books to hell.


the round one.

Just your average human specimen wanting to be something more. Also has an absurd fondness for potatoes and shoes, among other things.


what i want.
(these are clickable nudge nudge)

bicycle!!!1!
PLAYSTATION3
tv/HD screen for PS3
POP OP figures
sutadora figure
ps1 (not the console)
幸せ / きらめき / 自由
AMAZON WISHLIST



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