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20061013 : 10:13 PM
it's Friday the 13th. ironically, it's also our Graduation Ceremony. when i walked into school in the morning, i was overwhelmed with a huge disturbing turbulence of emotions. what would the future be like without walking through those familiar blue gates, like i have done for the past 3 years? it would be so scary and alienating to enter an entirely new environment. looking around at the absurdly garish, yet comfortingly familiar yellow walls, i wonder if i'll ever come back here again.. seeing the faces of the people whom i've spent so much time with these years, laughing, crying, crapping, .. there is a deep stirring ache from within when i realize that this could be the last time i ever see them in a normal school day. painful tears well up, but my eyes remain dry. the next time we see each other, it will be during the Os. and then, a long break. when the results come, will our feelings still be there? when we finally separate to go to the place we're meant to be, will we think of each other? will we reminisce on the past, smile at the silly memories we had together? will we yearn and envy the carefree happiness we had then, and will we wish to go back to the past and do it all over again? at the very least, we ended the day in high spirits. the teachers sang a song for us, and no one cried. suprisingly. we were all amazingly cheerful, but i somehow felt that we were pasting smiles so that we wouldn't feel so bad. to remind ourselves that out there, lies another brighter day for us, perhaps? this was the day that we actually all tried to talk each other the most. cameras snapping, friends laughing, on this day, everyone belonged on the same level. it's ironic how it was the 'last' day, and it seemed like we were trying so hard to make friends like it was the first. maybe because we wanted to have a rememberance of everyone, no matter how brief our encounters were. the Penguin was also eyebrow-raisingly generous, by arranging for a lunch treat for us. so there all the sec4s+5s were, eating, chatting, having fun, or trying to. and after that, it was like we'd created a second childhood. people playing, running, screaming, laughing, .. on this day, we could forget everything and just unleash our joy. we actually ended up playing 3 Blind Mice in the classroom. as Chyechye appropriately put it, "sec4s playing a 4-year-old game." i left with a big silly grin on my face. i don't think i'll ever forget this day -prolly because i went triggerhappy- and i really hope and pray that i'll always come back to this place with fondness. |
the round one.
Just your average human specimen wanting to be something more. Also has an absurd fondness for potatoes and shoes, among other things.
what i want.
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