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20060127 : 6:28 PM
whee today we celebrated in school! chinese new year's coming round the corner, which means more hongbaos!! damn her damn her damn her damn her damn her damn her damn her damn her damn her damn her damn her damn her damn her damn her damn her damn her damn her damn her damn her damn her damn her damn her ungrateful spolit b*tch.
20060118 : 8:58 PM
what happened to all the time?? flash, and we're now secondary four. i don't feel any senior though. i still feel like i was back in sec2, struggling through school and making sense of life. the other day i was in manga class and Mel and the others seemed to have discovered that i was gonna be 6teen for the first time. "You're so old?!" incredelous tone here, glasly provided by Jacelin. it's the big O heading my way like a fourteen-wheeler. my mom want sot plan a sweet 6teen bday party for me, can you believe that? i mean, sweet and all, but with my cousins? fom both sides? at the same time? i can just imagine the chaos that will ensue. lately i've been feeling really distant from Graceygummy. i'm sensing an undertone of cool indifference here, and i don't get it. well actually i do. i'm always doing things that hurt her, upset her, piss her.. take the dover games failed attempt. i sprained her knee because I PUSHED HER. i don't know why i did that. and just last week i kinda impled that she was fat. i don't know why i did that either. it's like sometimes there's this mean vulgar demon inside me waiting for an opportunity everytime i do or say something. waiting.. to reveal the ugly side. i have to be so careful of what i say. i don't want history to repeat itself. but it has, so many times. i'm afraid.
: 8:55 PM
i got drenched in the rain roday. i'm watching my mom make a futile attempt to dry my shoes. the sight of her, squatting there, armed with the hairdryer, leaning over the pair of scuffled shoes, just makes me wanna cry. waves of love, nolstagia, and guilt. guilt, for always letting her down and lying to her. nolstagia, for all the comfort and warmth she gave unconditionally. love, for being my mom.
20060105 : 8:05 PM
it's been supahlong since i posted here. hols are out, school's in dudes. *big fat sigh* what on earth is going on? my life's totally warped. first, i'm struggling to finish my hol homewurk -heh typical- and next, a nuclear bomb: miss yeo says me and cahr hafta go for the amads mock-exam, which is like what the *beep*??!! we dint score F9s for eoys, so why are we taking it? i dunt find it fair since she informed us like two days back when people have had two bloody months to prepare and we dint know. i dunt tink it's fair at all. do you? so here i am, cramming now -which is highly impossible to get anything into my brain at this stage- and tomorrow also happens to be CCA orientation and i hafta stay in school until eight bloody thirty in my gb bloody uniform. 24-hour duty for exco. say buhbye to my social life dudes. and to top it all off, the service-learning trips in march cost an atomic bomb. i cant even pig at sakae. *sob* what is the world coming to?? |
the round one.
Just your average human specimen wanting to be something more. Also has an absurd fondness for potatoes and shoes, among other things.
what i want.
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