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20070422 : 3:03 PM
going around and reading all the posts of people around me.. i suddenly find my posts really superficial and happyish. i mean, it's like i'm living in this soap bubble full of naïveté, and it bursts when i look around at other blogs and stuff, then i somehow or other decide to perform a selective memory containment and withdraw into my little bubble again. just the other day on the train, i had a serious convo and i found out that sometimes, the happy facade we have is .. just that, a masquerade. people smile, not neccessarily because they're happy. i am shocked and ashamed by my oblivion to the undercurrent of dark emotion beneath the laughter. i know i've always been pretty blind, both literally and emotionally, but to this extent? i feel really horrid and helpless at the same time, because i didn't know because i can't say anything that will be of any use because i .. simply don't know what to do. it's been the same with those two incidents in the past. i see people around me, in hurt, and i cannot think of anything to say or do that could possibly ease the pain. i suffer from the helplessness, that i'm always the last to know, that i'm no use when faced with tears. all i can do is.. to be there for them. did you know, sometimes i still have nightmares about August? |
the round one.
Just your average human specimen wanting to be something more. Also has an absurd fondness for potatoes and shoes, among other things.
what i want.
(these are clickable nudge nudge)bicycle!!!1! PLAYSTATION3 tv/HD screen for PS3 POP OP figures sutadora figure ps1 (not the console) 幸せ / きらめき / 自由 AMAZON WISHLIST html ref from dougnutcrazy |