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20071216 : 7:18 PM
and in approximately four hours, i shall be on a plane on my way to The Land of the Rising Sun, The Province of Tokyo Bananas, The City of Kishidan, whatever you call it. most normal people know it as JAPAN. it still feels kinda unreal though, like the next minute my parents will scream HAHA GOTCHA and start flinging out stuff from the suitcases. or something. i have weird imagination. *twitch* it's the term break now, but it's just 2 measly weeks. ah well better than nothing at all i suppose. at least they let us celebrate Christmas. i have a feeling i'm getting shoddy, and i think even the teachers can notice, or at least Mr E can, because he took us for Drawing last term and he's noticing that my standard's not so good this time. funny, and i thought still life was much harder than figure drawing. and now, i feel like crap and i'll prolly sound really prideful when i say this, but, i didn't enter this so i could get those sort of grades for Drawing. some people may say it's ohkay, better than what some others got, but i'm not comparing it with anyone. i'm comparing this with my personal standards, and this really.. sucks. i guess i'm a bit of a perfectionist in areas like this. i like matching my personal standards, and if it dips even a little, there goes my.. positive feelings. we've been having the specialization talks already, and i'm still going @_@ because i don't have a damn clue where i'm supposed to be. KF says there's still time for me to think about this and i don't have to decide in a hurry yet, but when i look at the standard in the level, i get jittery because i know competition for places is really going to be stiff. i can't stagnate here, i have to keep on going up. i've always liked drawing, but when i think about the specialization course i know i can prolly make it in, which coincidentally doesn't have any drawing, i don't know what to do, where to go. i know there're great people i can talk to, like Pox and teacher Lynette and KF, about this, but in the end, it's my decision. where i go from here, what i'll become in the near future, .. well, who's to say what'll happen? for now though, i'm going to seriously start training myself. discipline! OSU! for now-now though, AHHHH IS THIS FOR REAL?! am i really really going where i think i'm going? *A* i can't wait! hopefully the planned trip next year becomes reality, then we can have SERIOUS FUN. ooh yeah. argh Pox you got me infected with Kishidan Crazehness! |
the round one.
Just your average human specimen wanting to be something more. Also has an absurd fondness for potatoes and shoes, among other things.
what i want.
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