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20070930 : 1:02 AM
http://img517.imageshack.us/img517/879/toounitphailsgf1.jpg after seeing this, i really don't know what to say. damn i really thought his techniques and stuff were pretty damn good, and now this sort of scandal turns up. i guess it's kinda of a letdown and stuff. i saw Genesis in July, guess i should be relieved i didn't buy it. D: quote from a certain Deviant's journal:
Another quote from another Deviant's journal: Fan art
20070926 : 10:46 AM
oh yeah, almost forgot to add, i finally got my results for the 1st semester. didn't do as bad as i thought i would, but it wasn't anything great either. *slumps* after that, i really got shaken up. i didn't want to repeat another semester or module, but the way things are going, i keep having this paranoid thought that; what if i did? what if i got left behind? it would be utterly unbearable for me. cooped up at home all day, i've been doing lotsa thinking. people might call it spacing out, but i call it thinking. XD thinking about stuff like; what is it i really want? what am i doing right now? where do i go from here? is this a dead end? i want something from this, but what is it? i need to feel accomplished somehow, but the feeling isn't there. i'm pretty much the sort of person who seriously needs to be ordered something to do, else i'd just wander around like a zombie and that said, i think we're growing further apart. is this normal during the adolescent teenage years? since i was young, i don't recall ever needing to tell my parents anything about my private thoughts besides what was neccessary, and i'd always taken for granted that they understood what i was on about without my needing to spell it out. but right now, my mind's getting pretty messed up and i'm getting pretty unpredictable. maybe they're afraid i'll get into bad company or summat, i don't know. but right now, this huge gap is the furthest i've ever felt from them. needless to say, because i didn't say anything, because i didn't indicate how i felt about stuff, they simply assumed it was because of whatnot, and that led to a lot of misunderstandings and.. lectures. *sigh* so it all boils down to because i did not say what was needed to be spoken, it led to their increasing worries, even led to threats that i'd get signed out of Poxyclass. D: i know SD advised me to tell them something, just for the time being, to reassure them that i wasn't doing anything stupid, but what do i say? i don't even know that. i don't know how to bring up the subject, i don't even know what the subject is! how do i make it clear to them that i know what i'm doing, that i haven't "got [my] priorities mixed up", that there isn't any need to "crop [my goddamn] hair"? i'm hoping for a sign that'll tell me what to do, what to say. really. for now, i'm just going to.. see what happens i guess.
20070923 : 11:36 PM
i wanna thank the Pox, Poxlings and Poxypeople for all their concern and stuff today as well. i really appreciate it. :D esp. to SD, thanks for the pep talk and stuff and helping me understand stuff a bit better. :D i'm sorry if i was giving off very depressing vibes, i just wasn't.. myself. i shan't go into details of the source, but you guys should know. thanks for being so understanding and all, i really really love you guys. :D
: 11:23 PM
this is going to be a very long whiny post, so if you're anti-whine, go away and let me whine. damn i feel like crap. physically and emotionally. no one said the Sh*ngri-la stint was gonna be easy, and it wasn't. but i'm not complaining. ya gotta work for the dough, ya know? but still, taking all those slamming from the management was seriously.. ugh. are people this vulgar when it comes to giving instructions and feedback? although yeah, i suppose serving pork to a muslim seated at a VVIP table does warrant some serious slamming. that was serious taboo. the guy was either stupid or blind. thank goodness my station didn't have any particular diners. now i know how all those banquet staff feel. walking around all the time, looking busy or at least pretending to, carrying trays which weigh a ton, wearing stretched grimaces to pass off as smiles, tripping over their too bloody long skirts, making sure breakages and spillages don't occur.. damn it's tough. ok now do i sound like some bratty naiive never-been-out kinda person? because i'm thinking that's what i'm sounding like. D: it was a real eyeopener being there, and although i don't think i'm going to be suckered in into places like those again, i don't have a choice; it's all for the money, i gotta keep telling myself. money money money. 'sides, it's not really fun if you don't know anyone there. i tend to get pretty introverted when i'm with strangers, so.. ergh. please, someone, anyone, i need a decent job with decent wages so i can save myself. :D
20070920 : 10:37 PM
i'm feeling much much better recently, although i have no idea why. let's see.. what could it possibly have been? one. Friday's meetup with the girls. hung out and chilled at the Esplanade area for a bit; i must say it's ALWAYS always lovely to see 'em all. feelings and memories seem to remain unchanged even when we're not together anymore. :D two. Saturday's class. went a lil' bit crazeh there, using Poxy for a napkin when i got attacked by a Badger armed with charcoal. D: i hope Poxy didn't mind. and then i even got to eat fondue at Häagen Dazs! whoopdedoop. discussed future *projects*, pretty fun even with a rather edgey atmosphere. :D three. the class chalet i just came back from. isolation seems to have proven something to me, that i cannot stand being alone. D: it was great to see everyone again -ok, almost everyone- and even though i was pretty tired and maybe moodish, i'm glad everyone seemed ok. to me, that is. D: four. all of the above. oh yeah. on a side note. please do not trust your life/material possessions' security to the local police. i'm tellin' ya they do nuts about nuttin'. there was a certain case when a certain acquaintance had his belongings stolen in a CC, when their possessions were left barely a meter away in sight. the damage costs totals to about $4000. and the police did absolutely nothing about it. just about shows who you can rely on when you become a victim of theft eh.
20070908 : 11:24 PM
i'm back, finally. i'm entering that state of moodiness and apathy again, both physically and emotionally. i can't think straight, my brain's all fuzzy, i feel really drained emotionally even though i haven't really been doing much 'cept spreeing. D: i need moolah. and i need some zap so i can get back on track.
20070904 : 10:19 PM
like, what the POX?! my parents just decided out of the blue to go on a trip to Bangkok.. tomorrow. yesh, TOMORROW. what the poxpoxpoxpox. so it's like, "hey kids, pack, becauuuuse our flight's leaving for the land of pineapple rice and coconut milk in approx. 24 hours time! isn't that cool?" ._.
20070902 : 7:12 PM
the second overnight thon in my life whereby i didn't sleep at all. :D but it was really worthwhile and fun, to me at least. fun running around making sure we had stuff, fun watching Mel do her french maid thing, fun staying up all night playing Bishibashi, Monopoly and Bridge with MTAF, SD, Mel and Poxy. :D i was really glad that everybody had fun, at least, i think everybody did. :D Frank had better have enjoyed it though, seeing as he's flying off to Japan for 4 months, the lucky ass. D: [and during that time i hope i train up and lvl up so i can PWN all their asses in Ouendan and Mario Kart and whatever. oh ho ho ho .] i really hope Poxy did enjoy it though, because it was in honor of her. :D so even though it's a little late, i still wanna wish Poxy and the Poxypeople like Lynette, Fi and MTAF a HAPPY TEACHERS DAY. hope you guys enjoyed it, Poxy-style. |
the round one.
Just your average human specimen wanting to be something more. Also has an absurd fondness for potatoes and shoes, among other things.
what i want.
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