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20081026 : 6:20 PM
weird blabber ahead. i don't generally have an opinion of something unless i feel very strongly about it, and the same goes vice versa. which is probably why most of the time i don't have much of an opinion about a lot of things, because i cant empathize, usually because i've either never experienced it, or i simply don't really care. and even if i do have an opinion about something, i don't usually find the need to express it unless neccessary. i get confused when it comes to human relations. why do people act in certain ways even though the consequences would be obvious? i've never really liked that people insist on deciding/acting on something even though they know that the outcome will just turn everything sour. it's to be fair to everyone, they say sometimes. is it? i don't really believe that your life can totally revolve around someone else's. i don't believe that anyone can truly wholeheartedly devote and live their life for someone. i think that in the end, anything you say or do, is a step towards reaching your own goals, your own satisfaction, your own happiness. humans are selfish by nature. growing up is just a term, a phrase. not just to describe physical development, but the maturity of the mind as well. but there are some habits and characteristics we all develop when we're young, that is almost impossible to grow out of. sometimes, those traits show when we're in front of people we're comfortable around, maybe people we've grown up with, maybe people we love. we all want to act a little spoilt sometimes, let loose of the whole adult front and just relax. nothing wrong with that. it's just the other people who've never really seen that side of you before, who will look at you with new impressions forming in their minds. yes, i do care about what other people think, probably a bit too much. some people may say that we shouldn't give a damn about what others think and just do your own thing, but i'm sorry, i usually can't. i've finally realized what they meant, and now it is starting to sicken me, to the point that i can't wait to get out of range. i know it is hurtful to be talking about it like this, but gradually, i think i'm forming my own opinion of this, when i couldn't previously. and it's not good. to have your own opinion is, in a way i sppoz, a kind of proof that you're not a spineless member of the sheep flock. but what if that opinion betrays you to the people you know and trust? when they know how you view them now, will they still stay? i wouldn't know. this sounds like a whole pile of shit. i don't know what was the point of this anymore, i just know that i had to get it out of my system. D8 I don't quite know
how to say how I feel |
the round one.
Just your average human specimen wanting to be something more. Also has an absurd fondness for potatoes and shoes, among other things.
what i want.
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