this was pretty awesome. spaghetti olio with a generous dose of mentaiko pasta flavoring to make it not so tasteless. it's weird that it's still so bland despite it being fried with garlic and butter. hmm.

sometimes i don't get the thought process of people around me. why would you insist on doing something a certain way when there are other methods that can easily produce the same results with less effort, time and money wasted? i know i myself can be pretty stubborn about the way i do things, but at least i acknowledge and adopt efficient working processes when i see them.

i don't know if i'm happy with the way i am now, but i'm adjusted to it. looking at the hurdles and problems that other people with different statuses or circumstances has made me rather glad that i don't have to think about that kind of issues right now. i'm just going with what i want - what i like to do, and i'm pretty darn glad i have this freedom.

i've been pretty moody and emotionally turbulent lately though, or maybe it was since i came back. i think it's because i have this expectation i place on others, that i expect them to be aware of what i notice, and respond in a way that i want them to without me vocalizing it. and when they fail to take note of what i observed, i get snappy. the problem lies with me of course - how can i possibly expect people to pay attention to things that i do without me telling them about it? but time and again when i realize this, i relapse back into the same habit. it sucks, and i'm trying to deal with it. i feel really sad though when i think about how blunt i get when i reach that state, and especially if i direct that annoyed feeling towards people i don't want to hurt. is it just me, or is it that whole "female telepathy" thing that is generally associated with girls?